I am relearning how to tie knots. Yes, this is school related.

I am relearning how to tie knots. Yes, this is school related. If I have to sew someone up I have to learn to tie a decent fucking knot, I guess. The manual is blowing my mind. I can’t use the descriptions, I have to use the pictures. Here’s why: “Purple strand rotated beneath the white strand by supinating pinched thumb and index finger of left hand to draw purple strand through the loop. Right hand regrasps purple strand to complete the second throw square.” What? Want to know what you just tied? The first thing you do with your fucking shoelaces. Uh huh. That’s language I can understand, pretend to tie your shoes and then do the same thing and make a knot. Done. It’s all about making the knot lie horizontal. I feel like a moron. I suppose that is how they want me to feel, and they succeeded. Bitches. One more week of school! How dandy is that? One week of classes and the next week are finals. Eight finals. I have a presentation to do on a disease of the vulva (yeah, I picked it, of course) which I will be getting out of the way on Friday, so that makes seven finals in four days. I have a bad case of senioritis, I don’t want to do anything and I don’t care. I hardly study these days, if I look at something for an hour the night before an exam I am doing great. Fabulous. Actually, I have found this to be the best method for getting decent marks on my exams. Now I figure it out, after all this goddamned time. I pretty much have the attitude of fuckthisshit. I feel like I know nothing and I am having nightmares about my clinical rotations already. Apparently, that is how we are supposed to feel at this point, like retards. It’s a healthy outlook. We are told that it’s better to be pissing our pants than to be cocky. Personally, I am wavering on the side of I knew more about medicine before I started school. Give me a run down of your symptoms and I am just going to stare at you like you are a nutcracker doll with blood running from your giant toothed mouth.

Since it’s Christmas time I bought a strand of 100 colored lights and half assed an attempt at decorating. The lights are literally arranged in a diagonal line across the carpet with one end looped over the pot rack. I have to step over them every time I walk to the other half of my apartment. It’s quite festive. I just like to look at them lit up, that is all I need. I was pondering getting a few more and scattering them about my bedroom and maybe the bathroom, like a college aged hippie keeping them there year round. I like them that much. I will note that a strand of 100 does not get you very far. It’s rather deceptive. Like a hundred pennies only making a dollar. That buys you shit but you think it’s a lot. Speaking of buying, my mom has put me in charge of shopping for my own presents this year. She wanted me to get a digital camera so I did. I have never had one before and it came in the mail so I played with it yesterday. It is fucking amazing! It’s so small and it’s shiny and it has a three inch LCD screen and it makes movies. I am totally blown away by it. Call me crazy but I have never seen anything like this thing before. I know, I am crazy. The battery is even tiny! It feels like it should belong in a dollhouse. It is a Canon PowerShot SD 750. I got it for 50% off! Seriously, I do not need this much camera. I was playing with the buttons and menu screen and all I could say was “wow!” It is the shit. It is my new hero.

I guess it’s time to get back to my piece of string. We are getting like a foot of snow tonight and tomorrow. Guess what that means! Snow day! My last snow day of my life, it has the power. Pray for it. Please God, don’t let there be school tomorrow. I didn’t do my homework.